Leaning into the pain…

“It takes a lot of intentionality to lean into the deep recesses of life in the Afterloss when I touch my wounds.” ` Benjamin Allen

This quote is taken from a recent facebook post by Benjamin Allen on his Healing in the Afterloss page.  So often I tell folks to lean into their grief rather than avoid it – no matter how painful and how deep.  This is remarkably hard to do.  We all naturally want to avoid pain and the deep, primitive, agonizing pain of fresh grief is intense.  However, leaning into it, exploring it, labeling it, facing it head on is both healthy and healing in the long run…and it is a long run.  Grief is not a sprint; it’s an all-out marathon.  Day in, day out.  Hour in, hour out.  Sometimes, minute in, minute out.  Does it end?  No.  But it does change.  It does become less intense.  It will not always be as it is in the beginning.  I promise.  So lean in.  Let it hurt.  Release the tears.

Copyright 2014 Lisa B. Wolfe, LMSW

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