Today, where I live, it is pouring. We all know how weather can effect mood, especially rainy, dark, dreary days. Sometimes it just feels necessary to stay inside, stay in our yoga pants, and do nothing of significance. You know, take a couch day.
When you are grieving, especially in the beginning (which, honestly, could mean any time in the first two years…), it is necessary to have these kinds of days. The kind where you disconnect from your life and marinate in your grief. (There is an important distinction between wallowing and marinating and I’ve talked about this here.)
Grieving is hard work. You grieve 24/7, no time off, no vacation days. Sometimes you have to create the space you need. There are theories that say it is necessary to balance the grief against the not grieving. (Check this out.) And I agree. Most days we are so busy with our lives and we do a great job of wearing our grief mask and just getting through the days. It’s exhausting. So why not take off the mask and be fully you in all your grieving glory. Give yourself permission to have a day that is all about the grief and the pain and the emotional chaos and the physical exhaustion.
So…stay in bed and pull the covers up over your face if you want. Don’t take a shower today. Spend the day watching junk television or catch up on all those shows we call guilty pleasures. Sit and cry and look over photo albums. Eat ice cream. Indulge your lazy side. Whatever you want. But only for today.
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Copyright 2014 Lisa B. Wolfe, Translating Grief, LLC