Yes. All of it. Yes.
Before Devastation Day, I never gave the word grief much thought. Yes, I have mourned other loved ones but the physical and emotional ambush that descended upon my mind, body and soul when my Amy passed away has been unlike anything I have ever experienced in my entire life. It is frustrating that anyone could possibly assume that any part of my reaction to Amy’s sudden passing has been orchestrated by my own intentional free will.
Words hold the ability to send me to a place of deep despair. Words like children, family, daughter (even though I still have a beautiful daughter here). Phrases like — how are you, how many kids do you have, have a good weekend — all serve as a cruel reminder of how much my life has changed and whom I have lost.
Grieving is excruciating, foggy, unpredictable, heart wrenching, painful, frightening, relentless, lonely, debilitating…
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