The attached photo was taken over the summer on a rainy, chilly day. It was just so cozy and something compelled me to take the picture. You may notice the Christmas lights I still have hanging. When the Christmas season was over last year, I just couldn’t bring myself to take them down so there they stay.
Over the course of June and July, we had the pleasure of hosting two young girls (new family members) aged 10 and 6 (now she’s 7). My office has a day bed with a trundle and that became their bedroom whenever they slept over – which was quite often. The first time they walked into the room, the 10 year old exclaimed “COOL! Christmas lights! Can we keep them on at night?” The then-6-year-old made a face and asked in a snarky tone “Why do you STILL have Christmas lights?” I replied “Because they make me smile”.
I recalled this during a recent conversation with a client. She was talking about how things have “evened out” for her with the passing of time and she finds herself returning to some of her previous activities – the ones that make her smile, she said. And with that, she’s gotten some push-back from family and friends. “Isn’t it a little soon?” someone in her life asked. She replied “Define ‘too soon’”. HA! I like that response! She put it right back on the person judging her.
What I suggested to her was that she continue to “Do you.” Do what you want, when you want, with whom you want and don’t listen to what anyone else has to say about it. It’s your life. It’s your grief. It’s your journey. We all have a different time line, a different set of coping skills, a different support system, a different personality. How we decide to cope with our own, individual, unique grief is completely and absolutely up to us. No one else.
Get out there and DO YOU. Whatever that means to you….
Copyright 2015 Lisa B. Wolfe, LMSW, Translating Grief, LLC