Don’t speak to fill the space….

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So…we were binge watching Orange is the New Black and a character died (no spoilers from me).  When another character wanted to offer condolences to the grieving “family”, yet another character warned her to not say “She’s in a better place” and not to “speak to fill the space”.  I chuckled when she said that last bit because that’s what so many people do.  Being uncomfortable with the kind of pain someone is experiencing – and likely expressing – causes people to just try to fill the space with unintentionally painful or, even, hurtful words.  It’s not necessary to fill the space when offering condolences.  Just being there is important.  And, please, for heaven’s sake, never never NEVER say “I know just how you feel”.  This article is a comprehensive collection of how others offered their condolences.  It’s a looooonnnngggg list, but might give you some ideas about how to comfort someone who is hurting beyond words…

http://stillstandingmag.com/2016/06/the-nicest-thing-to-say-or-do-after-loss/

 

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One Response to Don’t speak to fill the space….

  1. Linda Clark says:

    Lisa, Great article! Thanks for sharing! Linda

    On Tue, Jul 5, 2016 at 11:45 AM, Translating Grief wrote:

    > Translating Grief posted: ” So…we were binge watching Orange is the > New Black and a character died (no spoilers from me). When another > character wanted to offer condolences to the grieving “family”, yet another > character warned her to not say “She’s in a better place” a” >

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